Help for Battered Men
The following contains a good and comprehensive collection of information and resources for men who are battered by their wives or girlfriends. Unfortunately, the web page from which the information is quoted here does not indicate whether the sponsoring organization is still in operation.
That does not mean that the crisis of bettered men does not exist.
Help for Battered Men
Here’s What You Can Do
Resources for Battered Men
Note: If you have been the victim of domestic violence, please e-mail me and tell me about it. What happened? Did you tell anyone about it? Why or why not? Did you seek help? Why or why not? If you did seek help, did you get it? May we publish your story here? We’ll do it anonymously, unless you give specific permission to use your name and/or e-mail address.Know a man who may be battered? Print out this page and give it to him. Often, it’ll be enough to get him to talk to you about it — if not right away, perhaps in a bit. And talking to another man about it is the first step in healing — in survival.Remember: TV star and comedian Phil Hartman never talked about his marital problems, either, except to joke about having to leave the house when his wife was mad. He told everyone the marriage was wonderful — as so many men do.
- Are You Battered or Abused?
- Why Men Don’t Do Anything About It
- What You Can Do
- Washington Centers that Serve Men
- Other Centers that Serve Men
- On-line Help and Support
- On-line Pamphlet–Print it out and pass it around!
What can you do? Talk about it. Too often, men feel a “double shame,” the shame that a battered woman feels, and the “man’s shame” of being beaten up by a woman and being mocked or laughed at for it. Don’t wait until she cuts you open with a kitchen knife. If she’s unreasonably jealous or controlling, if she’s a “control freak,” if she slaps you around or throws things, if she starts to destroy things that are personally important to you, don’t ignore the signs! It’s not going to get any better! Watch out for your own safety!
(Full Story )
Note by F4L: The advice offered at that web page includes little, if anything, on what a battered man who is a father may be able to do to protect his children from a violent mother.
As far as intimate partner violence goes, men and women commit such violence in equal proportions, with many researchers identifying that women are violent even slightly more often than men are.
REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS:
AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY
Martin S. Fiebert
Department of Psychology
California State University, Long Beach
Last updated: September 2008
SUMMARY: This bibliography examines 246 scholarly investigations: 187 empirical studies and 59 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 237,750.
The difference between perceptions of the frequency of female violence, such as expressed in the opinions by feminist propagandists and advocacy researchers, and the study reports examined by Prof. Martin Fiebert constitutes the extent of pro-female and anti-male bias held by officials who ignore the scientific evidence of intimate partner violence.
When it comes to violence against weaker and younger victims, women undoubtedly predominate, by far, as the perpetrators of serious and fatal violence against children in families.
In view of those circumstances, it is without a doubt necessary to have as many shelters or refuges for battered men as we have for battered women. However, the decades-long feminist crusade that paints women as victims and men as violent beasts has preëmpted that option.
As a result of that, there are no shelters for battered men in Canada and virtually none in any of the other developed nations. There are most definitely no shelters for battered men and their children that permit children and their fathers at risk to find safety from violent mothers and wives.