June 25, 2010 by Walter Schneider.

Today I received a request for help in solving a man’s confusion about his alleged paternity of a boy born about 15 or more years ago.  The confusion about paternity that is exhibited in the text of the e-mail message quoted farther on (my responses are interspersed) is mind-boggling but nothing new.  It is as old as civilization.

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle

The advent of civilization is strongly connected to the regulation of human sexuality through marriage.  Marriage laws somewhat relieved possible confusion about paternity, while the abolition of the institution of marriage, an age-old primary objective of communism, set back certainty about paternity to a state closer to that existing prior to the advent of civilization.

Here is the e-mail message.

Hello Jim [not his real name],

You wrote:

So here is my question to you, Do you think I have any options.

Of course you have options.  The most obvious one is to do nothing.  However, I am not sure what that option entails.  Did the mother drop the paternity assertion?  Are you paying child support?

To explore all of the options (and their consequences) available to you, get in touch with a fathers-rights organization in Oregon, provided that that is where you are located (other than your e-mail address, you provided no information on that).

I finally found my paternity test that we took in 1995, and I have been talking to numerous paternity testing facilities and they are pretty much telling me the same thing, that it’s not a very conclusive test. They tell me that each locus should be tested twice.

Well, they are the experts.  I am not.  I am more of a historian and do recall many instances in which paternity test results were falsified.  I recall the case of a Chicago lab in which a technician falsified a large number of test results, wrongly assigning paternity to many men that had been fingered (in California, and elsewhere probably too, it is a common practice to pick the name of a prospective “father” out of the phone book).  She falsified those DNA test results simply because she hated men.

You should have the paternity test repeated.  Not only that, but you should obtain two samples and have the DNA test done by two independent labs.

for each locus both mother, child and father must have 2 alleles indicated not only 1 (es. father 6,7 is ok but 11 it isn’t ok it must be perhaps 11,11?). The value of CPI must be very high to have a reliable test (130 isn’t a sufficient value).

  I had a DNA test done back in 1995, the results showed me to be 99.29% the child’s father, with 6 alleles tested.
I think the results are wrong,

What you think is immaterial.  All that matters is what you can prove.

mother 10,11….           child 10,11……            me 11                 (1.78%)
mother 8,10…..            child 10,11…….           me 11                 (3.52%)
mother 6,8……              child  7,8………           me 6,7                (3.38%)
mother 32,6…..             child  6…………           me 5,6                (1.75%)
mother 9,10…..             child 9………               me 9,10              (2.30%)
mother 10,12….            child 10,12…..           me 10                  (1.65%)

CPI 130-1
POP 99.29%

So now I’m not sure what to do, I would like to find out if he is my son, If he’s not my son well then that would be upsetting.

But I probably still would  be liable to pay child support….just because I signed the paternity papers at the hospital and also because I have a default judgment against me. The default judgment papers I received out of the blue with no court papers before them.

What’s kinda weird is, back in 1998 i think, she was suing me for child support and I contacted the [] lab that did our DNA test and I paid them the rest of the monies to get the results back.

I sent the results to Humboldt County and a month or two later I received a letter back saying that they were dismissing the entire action against me, without prejudice. I still have that court document.

I’m so confused about this whole thing,

You confused me, too.  The mother appears to have lied, either when she asserted that you were the father or when she changed her mind and asserted that you were not the father.  However, you don’t make it clear what the mother actually claimed and claims now.

What emerges quite clearly in my mind is that for unspecified reasons you declared yourself to be the father.

In cases like yours (I assume that you were not married when you made your paternity declaration, but you gave no indication of that), the chances that a man like you is not the father are about exactly 30 percent.

I Just want to know the truth.

Well, then the answer is simple.  Have another DNA test done.

If he is my son I want to know him, which she has never let me do. I seen him 2 times that’s it. Then she moved away.

Does she or doesn’t she claim that you are the father?  In either case, you need her cooperation to obtain another DNA sample.  The problem is that if she insists that you are not the father you will most likely not be able to get her to agree to provide one.  It is then also extremely unlikely that any court will override her wishes.

And if he isn’t my son, what can I do?

Thank you very much
Jim

In that regard, what you can do is not as important as is what you want to do.  Do you wish to be held to the obligation of providing financial support for another man’s child or not?  If not, then talk to a lawyer and have him take the necessary actions to have your declaration of paternity removed from the birth registry.  The decision by the Humboldt County should help you with that.

When you are done with that, put all records of that in a secure place, try to forget about it all and hope that she will never change her mind about you not being the father.

I assume that you are presently not paying child support and that you have never done so. You stated nothing to prove that assumption to be wrong.  Did you ever consider what will happen if she decides that you must be the father after all?  If she does that, you will most likely be made to pay child support arrears going back to the date of the boy’s birth, including the medical expenses associated with her hospital stay.  Do you want to do that?

The complication that would arise is that even if you were to pay those child support arrears, that would still not ensure that you will ever get to see the boy.  Even if you were to get to see the boy, your chances of establishing a bond with him would be extremely slim to non-existent.

Regards,

Walter

Post script 2010 07 02:  Jim wrote back and explained that the mother of his alleged child, the woman who left Jim years ago to spend her life with another man whom she had known at the time that Jim was supposed to have fathered her child lost custody of the child.  She separated from the other man, and Jim is now paying child support to that man.

What would you do if you were Jim?  Consider that, whether the child is Jim’s child or not, Jim has no contact of any sort with him, but that Jim pays and pays and pays….

Posted in Child Support, Civil Rights, Paternal Rights, Men's Issues | Print | No Comments »

June 21, 2010 by Walter Schneider.

Videos of Father’s day Protest in Bangalore, India

By Anil Kumar <newageindian@gmail.com>

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:35:08 +0530

Hello Ed and all,

…videos of Father’s day protest at downtown Bangalore. The men shouted slogans against judiciary and Government for denial of access to children and shared parenting. Some men and children dressed up as mythological heroes. This is the 3rd year of Father’s day protest. They also made many conservative women to join the protest to support men.

• News in TV (1:46 min):
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC8OT1j-blE
• Detailed Video (6:31 min):
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxudTMMVFZc

www.crisp-india.org is the father’s and children’s rights front of men’s rights movement in India.

Best Regards
Anil

Posted in Civil Rights, Paternal Rights, Men's Issues, Child-Custody Awards | Print | No Comments »

June 9, 2010 by Walter Schneider.

Time and again I receive requests for help and advice on issues such as those outlined in the following.  I replied on average about once or twice each day during the past two weeks to such requests.

I write the advice I provided over and over, time and again.  I wrote the articles on how to select a lawyer so as to prevent me from having to write up such advice over and over.  The worst thing is that no matter what I write, post or state, extremely few people take any of it to heart.

“Bill” and “Rose” (not their real names) will have 18 to about 25 years of misery and financial hardship ahead of themselves.  They are being forced to dig a financial hole for themselves that they will most likely never be able to get out of — and even if they do, they and their kids will be set back for life.

In spite of that, it is not likely that they will do what is necessary.  Very few people will look past today.  The vast majority of those who read my advice will think it is too much work, give up, stick their heads in the sand and then get their butts shot off.  The good thing about that is that, with their heads in the sand, they will never see it coming.

Excuse my pessimism, but I am 74-years old now and have seen too much of the same thing happening, over and over.

Do you think I am wrong about it all?  Well, the website of Fathers for Life has been in existence for about 20 years.  How come that people like Bill and Rose never visited the website until they ran into trouble?

How come that the stuff I am writing about is not being taught in the schools?
–Walter

Rose wrote:

Hi there..my friend Bill is newly seperated from his girlfriend…upon seperating she agreed to week on week off custody.  1 1/2 weeks later as he returned to the apartment from the funeral of his best friend and cousin, he was presented with a lawyers letter stating she would allow him access to the child IF he didnt have him around certain people (who have no criminal record, who have years of experience in childcare, have strong educational backgrounds - one is a psw, the other has numerous diplomas and a degree which included study in psychology, etc as well as years of military service.) These said people were also the same people she depended upon, on many occasions to watch this child for her…while she worked, got groceries, etc etc and she never had a problem with them watching him until they noted suspecious behaviour on her part and told Glen.  Both can come up with wonderful letters of recomendation, etc.

He refuses to sign this document, as she is STILL trying to controll him.  During the relationship she was controlling and abusive…and neglectful to their son as well.

Since the breakup Bill has had joey for the first whole week (during which these above people watched him while glen was at work..and she even came over to interact with joey during that week while these people had him outside playing…if she was that concerned with the care, why did she leave him there?

She has no denied ALL access of Bill to joey for a little over 3 weeks.

Bill has very little in the way of money to spend on a lawyer..so I have been compiling the documents he needs and filling them out fo rhim as best I can.  We heard of a mens group who will help you fight for custody…and then I found this website…I am hoping you can help lead me in the right direction to find help for him, and have this father and son re-united.

In the conversation he had with her tonight..she is now claiming that william isn’t even Bill’s..and became very hostile when he suggested a paternity test be done…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rose

My response:

From: Walter H. SchneiderTo: Rose

Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2010 9:08 PM

Subject: Re: fighting for custody

Hello Rose,

If you tell me where you are located, I may be able to direct you to an organization near you.

Regards,

Walter

Rose responded:

Sorry  I  Should have insluded that.  We are located in Fredericton New Brunswick.

I responded:

Rose,

The “you” in the following refers to you and Bill.

There are two organizations in New Brunswick whom you should try to contact:

New Brunswick Children’s Equal Parenting Association
New Brunswick Shared Parenting Association

Ask both of them for advice.  If either one of them has meetings of its membership, you should try to attend.  You will learn more from individuals who are at various stages of their legal fights than you can from any lawyer.
The website of Fathers for Life and its associated blog contain a number of articles on how to select a lawyer.  Read those articles (some of them are repetitions) and learn what you should do in selecting a lawyer.

I know, you stated that Bill has little money.  It is up to you to determine whether Bill qualifies for Legal Aid.  If so, let him apply (and keep in mind that if she applies before Bill does, Bill will not be given Legal Aid — Legal Aid will not present both sides in a case).  If not, consider what the alternatives are.  Bill will potentially be forced to hand over about $250,000 to $500,000 in child support over the years, until the boy is mature or until he has finished his education, whichever comes later.

Denial of access or visitation needs to be assessed with respect to the custody and visitation order.  Interference with that order is a criminal offence.  However, the number of such offences that were prosecuted and punished in Canada can probably be counted on one hand.  I only know about two of them that were.  In both of those cases the fathers fighting for their rights went into bankruptcy.  Interestingly, neither of those fathers made any headway in court until after they went bankrupt, could no longer afford to pay their lawyers and began to represent themselves.  Great stuff, right? Legal victory predicated by financial self-immolation.

You will not gain any legal ground by trying to establish guilt.  For one thing, guilt is not punishable, and neither will be anything else be she may have done you don’t like.

Concentrate on what you primarily wish to achieve.  That is, regular and equitably-shared parenting, right?  Therefore, concentrate on what is best for the child.  Make an appearance that you are bending over backwards to please the mother, and that all else is in the best interest of the child.  However, make sure that the custody and visitation order contains a statement that specifies that the police must assist Bill if the mother should interfere with the court order.  Without that statement it is extremely unlikely that Bill will ever get the police to help him enforce his visitation rights, if that should become necessary.

You will need to file a statement of claim.  Keep that as short as possible, about a page to a page-and-a-half.  Use reference pointers to any supporting documentation.  Attach copies of the documentation and use tabs for each document, with each tab to correspond to the reference identifying the document in the statement of claim.

Learn about the rules of the court. Visit the local law library.  Find case law, that is: evidence of judgments in similar cases.

Keep tabs on what your lawyer does.  He works for you.  You must be quite clear on what you want him to do.  Make sure he does the right thing at the right time and at the right place.  Keep in mind that the lawyer will get paid whether you win or lose your case.

Try to keep your case out of the family-court system.  The family-court system is ostensibly in place to help individuals with family issues.  The reality is somewhat different.

The family-court system was put into place for no other reason than to expedite the dissolution of marriages, when the liberation of the divorce laws and the establishment of the principle of “no-fault” divorce created an insurmountable backlog of divorce applications.  (Read more: Freedom, Equality, and Society’s Treatment of Men and Families )

A secondary result that evolved over the close to 40-years time of the family-court system’s existence was that family courts evolved into a system for putting men and especially fathers into their place, which place, according to feminist doctrine, is for fathers to be without and not within families.  That is being accomplished by having the rules of the court and the rules of evidence no longer apply in family court. (Read more: Family court to men - ‘Just shut up and pay’; Bias and injustice in our family court system the root cause of many murder- suicides; Note: you can find much more information on family-court issues by searching the website of Fathers for Life for “family court”. )

The best thing you can do to help Bill is to bring Bill’s case into regular court, were his chance to receive justice according to the law will be considerably better.  However, the chances that Bill will gain anything are slim, about one in ten.  Bill most likely will at best only obtain standard visitation (one weekend every two weeks, plus half of vacation and one out of every two holidays).

In general, the only thing that Bill can be sure about is that he will be sentenced to pay for having become a father, that and that he will be ordered to pay out hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years.

Here now is the most important aspect of Bill’s whole case.

It is of course possible that Bill is the natural father of the young boy, but if I were in your position, I would make absolutely sure that the boy is Bill’s biological offspring.  The chances are on average one against two that the boy is not Bill’s child.

If Bill’s paternity has been established on the basis of DNA paternity testing, then it is reasonable for Bill to fight for regular access to the boy or perhaps even for fully shared custody.  Without proof of paternity, Bill should refuse to pay child support, and he should not bother to attempt to obtain visitation rights. (See also: Pregnant on the Sly; Table of Contents — Paternity Fraud)  Mind you, once there is a court order that sentences Bill to pay child support, then there is not much he can do (other than to try to have the court order overturned) than to pay, or else he will be breaking the law.

Regards,

Walter

Posted in Suicides, Divorce, Child-Custody Awards, Feminist Jurisprudence, Women's Violence | Print | 2 Comments »

June 8, 2010 by Walter Schneider.

From Merriam Webster’s TOP 10 LISTS, Top 10 User-Submitted Words, Vol. 3

#1: Retrosexual

Definition: a man who adopts a traditional masculine style in dress and manners ….

(Full Story)

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