Newborn child found in barn

What if the first Christmas would have happened now and not two-thousand years ago?

Newborn child found in barn – Police and Youth Welfare Office investigate

A Nazareth carpenter and an under-aged mother in temporary custody

[Original source and author unknown *]

[WPA] BETHLEHEM, Palestine: In the early morning hours, a concerned citizen alarmed officials. He had discovered a young family that were squatters in a barn. When they arrived on the scene, Social Services workers, supported by police officers, found a newborn infant whom his barely 14-year-old mother, a certain Mary H., from Nazareth, Israel, had swaddled in strips of cloth and put to sleep in an animal feeder.

When mother and child where apprehended, a man (later identified as Joseph H., a carpenter, also from Nazareth), interfered with the social workers’ intentions.  Joseph, supported by a few shepherds as well as three foreigners of unidentified origin, wanted to prevent the apprehension of the child and his mother, but the police officers restrained him and prevented Joseph and his supporters from interfering with the social workers’ actions.

The three foreigners, who identified themselves as “wise men” of an eastern country, were also apprehended. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs as well officers of Customs and Excise are searching for evidence of the origin of these three men who apparently are illegal immigrants in Palestine. A speaker of the police informed WPA [World Press Agency] that the men carried absolutely no identification, but that they had been in possession of a quantity of gold as well as some possibly prohibited substances. The three men resisted being arrested, while claiming that God had ordered them to return home without delay and to avoid any contact with government officials. The chemical substances that were in their possession were sent to the crime lab for further investigation.

The whereabouts of the newborn child will not be disclosed until further notice. It appears to be very doubtful that speedy and satisfactory explanations for all of the circumstances surrounding the arrival of this newborn child will be possible any time soon.  When WPA inquired with the Youth Welfare Office, a spokesperson explained that she was permitted to disclose only that, “The father is in his mid-forties, and the mother is definitely not yet of the age of majority. We presently are communicating with officials in Nazareth to determine the nature of the relationship between father and mother.”

Mary was moved to the Bethlehem Municipal District Hospital, where she will undergo medical and psychiatric examinations. She can expect an indictment. Because she claims that she is still a virgin and that God fathered her child, her mental condition will come into the focus of attention. An official announcement by the head of the Department of Psychiatry of the Bethlehem Municipal District Hospital states: “I am not in a position to tell anyone what they should believe, but when that belief leads to, as in this case, the endangerment of a newborn child, then such people must be categorized as being a danger to society. The fact that drugs, suspected to have been distributed by the foreigners who were present, were found at the scene of the birth does not evoke confidence. Nevertheless, I am convinced that, with the necessary treatment, within a few years all of the participants will become again normal members of our society.”

Lastly, WPA just now received the following update: The shepherds who were present at the scene of the birth are firmly united in their assertion that they had received orders by a large man in a nightshirt and with wings on his back to visit the barn, there to celebrate the birth of the child.

A speaker of the Drug-Crime Investigation team mentioned in that connection: “That is just about the dumbest excuse by all-out junkies that I ever came across.”
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* Found on the Internet (at http://listserv.shuttle.de/mailman/listinfo/papa-info ) and translated from the original German into English

It is still possible, so far, to have one in the privacy of one’s home, therefore,

Have a Merry Christmas,

Walter Schneider

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One Response to Newborn child found in barn

  1. They must have had a Child Welfare Office already in those days. After all, civilization had been in existence for about 8,000 years already, and how could that possibly have been if there would not have been a Child Welfare Office? Parents raising children on their own, without government direction and supervision? Could that truly have been possible?

    The missing 30 years in the life of Jesus could well have been due to a thing like the Protection of Privacy Act. If today it is necessary for natural parents not to know the whereabouts of their apprehended children that were taken into foster care, then surely civilization could not have survived for another 2,000 years then without a Child Welfare Office. But civilization did survive for another 2,000 years.

    It follows that there must have been a Child Welfare Office and that the privacy of the foster parents or of the orphanage needed to be protected from the natural parents of the apprehended newborn child. Hey, not even Herod could find out who that one-year-old child was, which motivated him to have all those one-year-old toddlers killed, in order to get rid of baby Jesus!

    However, the Privacy Protection Act worked so well for the sake of baby Jesus, that the secrecy of Child Welfare Services protected him against the deadly wrath of King Herod, which, by the way, proves that the real power rests with the bureaucracy and trumps not only that of natural parents and elected officials but that of kings, who are generally said to be kings by the grace of God. Without a doubt, therefore, the power of Child Welfare Services is greater than that of the Almighty and obviously protected Jesus until he was old enough to decide to make a public appearance after 30 years.

    Alas, Child Welfare Services had been right after all, because within a very short time after Jesus revealed his existence, after he had been safely hidden for so long, anther faction of the bureaucracy put him to death.

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