Response by F4L: There is no doubt at all that the process of divorce and its aftermath leaves couples in financial and emotional shambles. That is most often not the fault of both divorcing parents but the fault of just one who wants to be “more equal” than the other.

However, quite often the inequities that are being created in many divorce proceedings don’t even need to be the doing of one parent or the other. To create those inequities, nothing more than judicial discretion is needed.

It is more than a bit sweeping to state, “The health of the children is totally ignored by parents.” Your supporting assertion to that extent, namely that “Research has shown that how a couple conducts themselves during a divorce has a far greater impact on their children than the actual divorce”, requires a citation. Without citations of examples of the research you allude to, your assertion is nothing more than an unsubstantiated opinion.

On average, as far as the outcomes in children of divorce are concerned, there is no such thing as “a good divorce”. Negative outcomes in children of divorce, as shown by much research from all over the world, are more than twice as likely than they are in children who are being raised by their two married parents with whom they live under the same roof. The advantage held by children whose parents do not divorce holds true even if their parents have what are considered to be high-conflict marriages.

If you wish to explore this a bit farther, check the results of a search for “outcomes in children of divorce“.

Some of these myths I didn’t realise were incorrect so I’ve learnt something valuable here.

Thank you

All the best