A recent study from the Netherlands showed that overall mortality in IVF pregnancies was higher than the maternal mortality rate in the general population(42 mothers’ deaths per 100,000 IVF pregnancies compared to 6 deaths per 100,000 pregnancies overall).”

http://www.ivf-infertility.com/ivf/standard/complications/index.php

That web page shows links to: IVF treatment; failure of treatment; ovarian stimulation; multiple pregnancy; egg collection, and ectopic pregnancy.

It mentions neither sperm donors, sources of sperm nor fathers.

Most importantly, although it mentions women as “patients”, it says nothing about the quality of the children that will result, what to do about unwanted multiple pregnancies, and the chances that the resulting children can expect to be patients who do not live long or very complicated lives.

However, already the next of a series of 22 web pages on IVF complications at that website already mentions that, “A significant portion of normal embryos are chromosomally abnormal and this proportion increases with advanced maternal age.” http://www.ivf-infertility.com/ivf/standard/complications/failure.php

Still, that web page says nothing about what those chromosomal abnormalities may entail and how large that “significant proportion” is. I suppose that if we were to ask those children, if they live long enough, those that are capable of answering may provide some information on what those abnormalities may be and whether they are bothered by them.

One of the web pages in the series identifies amongst other complications that the resulting fetuses will have an incidence-rate of moderate to severe handicaps that ranges from 65% in the 23rd week of gestation to less than 10% in the 28th week of gestation, which should make one wonder what it could possibly be than makes that incidence rate decline with the duration of gestation. The answer to that must be that the fetus will die on account of either spontaneous miscarriage or induced abortion.

That web page also mentions that the survival rate over the same interval range ranges from 15% to 90%.
http://www.ivf-infertility.com/ivf/standard/complications/multiple_pregnancy2.php

Think about that for a moment. If you are a woman wanting to become a mother after natural methods did not make you pregnant, will you be willing to run the risk of becoming pregnant several times before you are finally able to give birth to a child whose chances of having a moderate to severe chromosomal abnormality are one in ten?

There seems little point in learning more about the risky process of fooling Mother Nature for the sake of having a child whose chances of being abnormal are unacceptably high.

We chose to have a known donor dad for our daughter so she would have the opportunity to have a relationship with him. We could have chosen to have an unknown donor. We could have chosen to not allow or encourage a relationship between Gabby and her dad. But ultimately it is her right to know her dad and it is our responsibility to do our best for our child.

I would hope that she would consider donating blood, organs or eggs to help others when she is older as her parents have done, but it would be her choice. She may encourage her partner in years to come to donate sperm too, or she may not, as is her right.

Yes it was expensive, but we are all willing to pay differnt amounts to enrich our lives in various ways. We chose to bring a very much wanted child into a loving family through negotiation, honesty, respect and love. She was planned, wanted and every preperation was made for her arrival, which is more than I can say for many children being born today.

I hope I have addressed some of your concerns. Comprehensive info on success rates and prices in Australia can be found on SIVF website: www.sivf.com.au

Cheers
Marijke