Cured anorexic seeks sympathy

August 17, 2007 by Walter Schneider.

Alyssa wrote:

To The Webmaster,

I think that as a site which clearly reaches so many people it is important that you provide more than one perspective on this illness. I am twenty years old, i was raised in a family that put no importance on looks, did not have magazines and nobody ever dieted. However, i developed anorexia at 12 years old. It remained very private as i was both restrictive and purging type anorexic. It got to the point where i had absolutely no control over my behavior and i became anxiety ridden and isolated. i narrowly avoided a heart attack. My recovery has been extremely difficult. I would never put my family through all the ensuing heartache and disruption by choice, and i am offended that you would be spreading your opinion that this is the case.

i have no desire to be thin, i do not find it attractive. I was driven by powerful and irrational thoughts telling me that i was evil and did not deserve to eat, sleep, or be warm. i have spent time in hospital with women who suffer from this, they were wonderful, sensitive and intelligent people, many of whom had been abused, and not at all self indulgent or beauty obsessed.

I hope you can consider my point of view,

Regards,

Alyssa

Hello Alyssa,

As you requested, I considered your point of view and find nothing in it that disproves what the anorexia-nervosa pages at Fathers for Life explain.

No one ever said that as a rule someone whose behaviour is driven by irrational thoughts cannot also be “wonderful, sensitive and intelligent.”

No one twisted your arms and forced you to starve yourself. The choice was yours. Family members are not the only ones who influence our behaviour and world view. No doubt, you must have found a source of incentives for your addiction outside the circle of your family members. In that respect, our anorexia-nervosa pages explain that peer pressure and the advertising industry are very powerful motivators that drive many girls into their addictive obsession with anorexia nervosa.

On the other hand, your statements prove the contention that self-starvation can become powerfully addictive behaviour.

As to your experience of having “narrowly avoided a heart attack”, am I correct in assuming that was caused by depletion of potassium, brought about by your excessively restrictive eating habits?

You should consider yourself lucky for having managed to overcome your addiction and to get it under control. You need to be congratulated for that.

Now forget about all that happened as a result of the addiction that you overcame; get on with your life. The first step for achieving that is to stop feeling sorry for yourself and to stop demanding sympathy from others.

I suggest that you channel your feelings into more constructive actions. You may be able to put your experiences to good use by advising others on what they need to do to avoid the trap that once had ensnared you.

Regards,

Walter Schneider
http://fathersforlife.org

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