I am not exactly sure if your organization is the correct one to contact, but I thought I would give it a shot. With father`s day quickly approaching and commercials and billboards advertizing and reminding everyone about the holiday, I began to think about the fathers who are alone – who perhaps lost their partner and/or kids. I come from a family who for some reason has a high pourcentage of females, and EACH father, grandfather or uncle has passed away leaving behind loving and longing families (mothers and children).
Many systems are set up around christmas for orphans and such, so I would be interested in creating something similar for both Mother`s Day and Father`s day – Where loving fathers who have lost their family could be sent either a message or gift etc. from a loving family who lost their own father. Fathers who may feel lost and who are looking for inspiration may be helped and encouraged by this small gesture coming from people who only wish they had a father to treat. Perhaps no direct communication would take place between the two- or perhaps an interraction space would be created in an (adops a father, adopt a family way) – but eitherway it is an idea that I wish to throw out there and hopefully get some feedback on!
Thanks for writing. Your idea is good, although it is a little difficult to envision how it may be brought into practice. I have some ideas about that at the end of this message.
Obviously, if fathers were to be respected more, what you propose would not be necessary. It has not worked in the last two hundred years or more, and perhaps never was the intention, to create respect for fathers from the top down. Instead, the powers bought into an ideology that created the systematic vilification of fathers, not the creation of respect for them. Many government policies were created in many nations, especially in the developed nations, that aim at eradicating fathers from the lives of the families from whom they are being deliberately expunged.
That has without a doubt caused since the mid 1960’s a steadily escalating rise in suicide figures for expunged fathers, suicide figures that by now have reached epidemic proportions and that are higher than those experienced at the peak of the great depression. But that is not all.
The government policies I mentioned also aim at ignoring health issues affecting men, ignoring those issues in favor of addressing health issues affecting women, even though many of those health issues are not gender-specific. It should therefore surprise no one that the gap between the respective life expectancies of the sexes grew from being about non-existent prior in the 1920s to being now on average about six years in favor of women in the developed nations. The deliberate ignoring of men’s health issues will quite likely have caused some of the women and children in your family to have lost some of those men that you now mourn.
Those manifestations of serious and increasingly fatal discrimination against men exist in all sectors of life. For instance, ever since statistics were kept on that, even though women now ostensibly wish to equally share the dangers of working life with men, there is no discernible change in the proportions of men and women that succumb to the dangers posed by working outside the home domain. Now as before, roughly 19 out of every 20 serious or fatal job accidents involve men and boys. It would not surprise me if some of the missing men in your family lost their lives due to job accidents or due to other health effects of the jobs they once held. It is a dangerous world out there, outside of the safety of the home domain. Unfortunately, hardly ever is any credit given to those men who almost exclusively do the dangerous, dirty and sweaty jobs in our society to earn the bread for their families.
It would be wrong to blame simply only government policies for the so much greater risks to their lives that men must face. Those discriminatory government policies could not come into existence without at least some members of the general public clamoring for them, and not without a major portion of the general public actively and perhaps even only silently consenting. More than that, the organized government- and business-sponsored campaigns of creating disrespect and disdain for men systematically manufactured disdain for men in the general public, resulting to some extent in increasingly more self-destructive behaviour of younger men but also in manifestations of disrespect for men and of exploitation of men that take other forms.
For instance, specifically in relation to the two days of celebration of concern to you, Mothers Day and Fathers Day, the following is a good indicator of the extent of the effectiveness and pervasiveness of the deadly propaganda war against men and fathers:
The day of the year on which the most phone calls are made.
The correct response was What is Mothers Day?
The day of the year on which the most collect phone calls are made.
The correct response was What is Fathers Day?
From page 10 (third paragraph) of
Father and Child Reunion:
How to Bring the Dads We Need to the Children We Love
By Warren Farrell
We cannot and must not blame modern feminism for that symptom of the anti-family propaganda war. Having been involved with the telecommunication industry for all of my long working life, I can assure you that those disparate statistics have been around for as long as the telecommunication industry existed. Going by much evidence from the Victorian Age and before, evidence that the feminists never mention or talk about, the anti-father social bias was around even long before that. Modern feminism itself is a product of that propaganda war, except that now the feminists are the major influence steering and intensifying that war.
Perhaps a grass-roots effort like that proposed by you will help to turn things around for fathers. Social respect for men and fathers is now at an all-time low. Every little thing that will raise respect for men and fathers will help.
What specifically do you have in mind to help to make your idea work?
P.S.: I sent a copy of your message and of my response to the mailing list of Fathers for Life and also posted it to the blog at http://blog.fathersforlife.org. Perhaps some of the subscribers to that list will have a few thoughts on what could be done to make your idea work. Furthermore, the blog could be used to exchange comments on any of those thoughts that may emerge. Not only that, but the blog will get your message out to many without the need to establish contact with individual fathers. –WHS